{"id":27918,"date":"2020-11-17T02:05:37","date_gmt":"2020-11-17T02:05:37","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/vnsalvation.net\/?p=27918"},"modified":"2022-04-12T20:40:28","modified_gmt":"2022-04-12T20:40:28","slug":"there-are-three-basic-kinds-of-people-in-the-world","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/hahosa.com\/vnsalvation\/there-are-three-basic-kinds-of-people-in-the-world\/","title":{"rendered":"THERE ARE THREE BASIC KINDS OF PEOPLE IN THE WORLD"},"content":{"rendered":"

THERE ARE THREE BASIC KINDS OF PEOPLE IN THE WORLD<\/strong><\/h2>\n

There are three kinds of people in the world.\u00a0 It may seem too simple to divide the world into three kinds of people, and try as he might to avoid it, clinical psychologist and best-selling author Henry Cloud helpfully points out in his book, Necessary Endings that there are essentially three kinds of people in life and leadership:<\/p>\n

\u2022 Wise People
\n\u2022 Foolish People
\n\u2022 Evil People<\/p>\n

After 25 years in leadership, I\u2019d have to agree with Henry. Sure, people can move between categories. Wise people have foolish moments and we can all do things that can only be described as malicious or evil.<\/p>\n

All day long, though, you hear from all three categories of people online.<\/p>\n

Essentially the difference between wise people and foolish people comes down to how they deal with truth.<\/p>\n

Wise<\/strong>\u00a0people encounter truth and\u00a0change<\/em>\u00a0as a result. For example, after getting a speeding ticket, wise people learn and slow down. After being told their words hurt someone, a wise person will try to understand why, apologize and work hard not to do it again. They\u2019re open, not defensive, they learn and grow and tend not to make the mistakes over and over again.<\/p>\n

Foolish<\/strong>\u00a0people encounter truth and don\u2019t change. Instead, they try to adjust the truth so they don\u2019t have to adjust to it. Confronted with a problem, a foolish person will deny, blame, minimize, generate excuses and do anything in his or her power to avoid having to deal with reality.<\/p>\n

They don\u2019t learn and rarely grow. As Cloud\u2019s frequent collaborator John Townsend puts it, foolish people have a flat learning curve. As a result, they tend to wreak a lot of havoc and cause damage in their own lives and the lives of others.<\/p>\n

Foolish behavior means some broke people will always be broke, some chronic procrastinators will always be late and some people keep running into the same problems again and again. They may mean well, but their lack of learning means they keep making things hard for themselves and others.<\/p>\n

Evil People.<\/strong>\u00a0Finally, as hard as it is to admit, some people really act in an\u00a0evil way<\/em>. They intend to harm you. They want to take you down.<\/p>\n

And as hard as it is to believe, they don\u2019t have your best interests at heart and want to see you fail.<\/p>\n

I found it hard to accept this early on in leadership, but I\u2019ve seen it often enough times to no longer dismiss it.<\/p>\n

For years, I kept thinking evil people would change and that foolish people will change.<\/p>\n

I\u2019ve learned the hard way that that\u2019s just not always true.<\/p>\n

Just because someone can change doesn\u2019t mean they will change.<\/p>\n

HOW TO HANDLE THREE KINDS OF PEOPLE<\/strong><\/h2>\n

So what\u2019s the takeaway?<\/p>\n

If you want to curate a positive, helpful, honest and real presence online, my suggestion is to:<\/p>\n

Amplify<\/strong>\u00a0the voice of wise people.<\/p>\n

Help and interact<\/strong>\u00a0with foolish people (but limit their influence).<\/p>\n

Delete and block<\/strong>\u00a0evil people.<\/p>\n

It can be difficult to discern who\u2019s wise, foolish or evil in real life. It can be even a little harder online. But here are some characteristics to guide you and your team.<\/p>\n

1. How to Recognize Wise People Online.<\/strong><\/h2>\n

Wise people are the people you want to attract, keep, promote and whose voices you want to amplify.<\/p>\n

A few characteristic sum up wise people:<\/p>\n

\u2022 Thoughtful.<\/strong>\u00a0They actually add to the conversation and are mindful of other people.<\/p>\n

\u2022 Considerate.<\/strong>\u00a0They think about other people and often engage with others in a way that makes everyone better.<\/p>\n

\u2022 Helpful.<\/strong>\u00a0They make a positive contribution with their words and tone.<\/p>\n

\u2022 Mutual.<\/strong>\u00a0This one\u2019s a little harder to put into words, but there\u2019s a give and take, a back and forth. They\u2019re open to new ideas and interested in what other people think.<\/p>\n

\u2022 Generous.<\/strong>\u00a0They\u2019re kind with their words and attitudes.<\/p>\n

\u2022 Humble.<\/strong>\u00a0It\u2019s not all about them, and they don\u2019t mind saying sorry if they stumble into negative territory. They learn from their mistakes.<\/p>\n

These aren\u2019t just the kind of people you want online, these are people you want in your chat, comments and interacting with your guests online.<\/p>\n

What do you do when you find a wise participant in the chat or comments? Amplify their voice.<\/p>\n

Acknowledge them. Interact with them. Thank them.<\/p>\n

Better yet, ask some wise people you know to be active early in the chat or comments to set a great tone. Wise people often hold back from the conversation, allowing, well, others, to dominate. Draw them in. Ask them to comment.<\/p>\n

This is the kind of interaction we all long for online but which seems to be oh-so-scary.<\/p>\n

When you find it, fuel it.<\/p>\n

2. How to Recognize Foolish People Online.<\/strong><\/h2>\n

Foolish people, as John Townsend says, have a flat learning curve. They don\u2019t intend to harm themselves or others, but they do.<\/p>\n

Here are a few characteristics of foolish people to help you recognize that kind of behavior in the chat:<\/p>\n

\u2022 Selfish.<\/strong>\u00a0It\u2019s all about them.<\/p>\n

\u2022 Single Issue.<\/strong>\u00a0Because it\u2019s all about them, they keep coming back to their pet issues.<\/p>\n

\u2022 Unhelpful.<\/strong>\u00a0They\u2019ll keep talking about what\u2019s on their mind, but instead of being open to others, they\u2019ll link to the things they care about? i.e. \u201cHave you heard about the latest discoveries about the Moon Landing in 1969? Totally run by aliens. Here\u2019s proof.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u2022 Off Topic.<\/strong>\u00a0Because\u00a0they\u2019re<\/em>\u00a0the topic, they have a hard time tracking with what\u2019s happening in the stream.<\/p>\n

\u2022 Not Humble.<\/strong>\u00a0It is all about them. Sorry, did you say something?<\/p>\n

Foolish people aren\u2019t evil people, but the best practice in chat is to limit their interactions.<\/p>\n

A great strategy when someone dominates the chat with their own issues is to invite them to an offline conversation.\u00a0Hey Carey \u2026 thanks for being part of the chat. I see you\u2019re really into Moon Landings. Jason on our team would love to connect with you. Can you send him a note at\u00a0jason@xyz.com\u00a0and he\u2019d be happy to hear more of your story there.<\/em><\/p>\n

If you run a Zoom service, you can move that person off to a breakout room.<\/p>\n

\n
From Outreach Magazine<\/span>\u00a0\u00a0Stumbling Toward Wholeness<\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n

The truth is people are lonely. They need connection, but sometimes the best way to connect is offline rather than in front of everyone in the group.<\/p>\n

You\u2019ll also notice that the characteristics above can describe the behavior of someone in crisis or deep pain. Not necessarily a foolish person at all, just a hurting person.<\/p>\n

Again, the best way to deal with grief or pain is to help the person get the help they need. You can best do that offline.<\/p>\n

What\u2019s your method for taking online conversations off line so people can get the help they need?<\/p>\n

Once you have that set up, your chat will get a lot healthier.<\/p>\n

3. How to Recognize the Trolls and Haters Online (Evil People).<\/strong><\/h2>\n

People who behave an evil way can destroy your online conversation in minutes. Be really careful.<\/p>\n

As much as you want to help people, if someone is there to harm you, you need to take action.<\/p>\n

The biggest differences between foolish behaviour and trolls and hater are tone and intent.<\/p>\n

\u2022 Rude.<\/strong>\u00a0Hater and trolls specialize in ALL CAPS, lots of exclamation marks, and being dismissive of other guests.<\/p>\n

\u2022 Abusive.<\/strong>\u00a0They lash out against the speaker or other participants in rude or obnoxious ways.<\/p>\n

\u2022 Anonymous or Fake.<\/strong>\u00a0Trolls and haters rarely use their real names and have fake account pics.<\/p>\n

\u2022 Single Issue.<\/strong>\u00a0The issue tends to be them or what they\u2019re against.<\/p>\n

\u2022 Closed.<\/strong>\u00a0People who do something foolish often respond to correction. Trolls and haters don\u2019t. They\u2019ll keep going until you shut them down.<\/p>\n

\u2022 Persistent.<\/strong>\u00a0Even after you shut them down, some will come back under new, fake accounts.<\/p>\n

\u2022 Vain.<\/strong>\u00a0It is all about them. There is no other message or messenger other than what they\u2019re communicating. (Note, usually people who start with \u201cIn my humble opinion\u201d aren\u2019t).<\/p>\n

I wish we live in a world where none of this happened, but it does. And you have to be ready for it.<\/p>\n

What you focus on expands. The more you feed the trolls, the more often they return. The more you amplify the voice of the wise, the more the good people show up.<\/p>\n

So, when I see someone like this on one of my posts, I\u2019ll usually just delete their comment first, and if they are kind after that, I won\u2019t ban them.<\/p>\n

But often, an evil person will follow up and say something like:<\/p>\n

\u201cOh, now you\u2019re deleting my comments??? THIS IS CENSORSHIP AT IT\u2019S WORST!!!\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

In the same way thieves don\u2019t have a \u2018right\u2019 to come back into your house, you can decide trolls and haters aren\u2019t allowed to steal meaningful dialogue from your channels.<\/p>\n

Letting trolls and haters control your feed is like letting cancer grow untreated. It will eventually kill all good life.<\/p>\n

The best thing you can do to a troll or hater is block, ban or delete them.<\/p>\n

They\u2019ll find another place to spew on the internet, it just won\u2019t be on your site.<\/p>\n

My guess is the compassionate side of you would probably like to give trolls and haters another shot. I get it. I\u2019ve tried more than once.<\/p>\n

Hate to tell you this, but it pretty much\u00a0never<\/em>\u00a0works. A true troll has no interest in dialogue, learning or respecting others. Maybe they do need help, but if they\u2019re only doing damage on your site, you\u2019re probably not going to be the person who helps them.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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